APR 8, 2020 AT 6:05 PM We’ve been doing daily painting sessions on Facebook, (and now YouTube and Instagram). Hope you’ve been able to join us! Jared has had fun playing with all his gear and we’re schooling ourselves as we go, learning how to make the videos work well, but also about ourselves.
I can’t put exact words to it yet, but I’m paying attention to what’s happening in me through this regular, rhythmic pattern of putting myself “out there”. During the first few days of recording, including the gallery tour video that was seen by 40K people, I could hardly watch the videos back. I felt overwhelmed and embarrassed. While recording, I felt confident and clear, describing my gallery pieces and talking while painting, but watching it back made me feel so exposed. To me, my voice sounded like scratching on a chalkboard. (Do chalkboards even exist anymore?! Haha!)
As we’ve continued to make content, though, I’m reconciling my vision of myself with what the screen is clearly showing. I’m hearing my communication, recognizing myself in it, and accepting what I have to give. Each evening I’ve been watching the day’s video, consciously giving myself grace while, at the same time, taking notes about what works and what doesn’t. Watching the videos doesn’t hurt anymore!! Progress!
I’m sure there’s more to this train of thought. (To be continued....)
These little videos have also come as an exercise in communicating clearly; first sorting through what my thoughts even are, and then putting words together that will translate well. There’s a way we talk to each other relationally, and a totally different way of talking for clear presentation. I’m working on it and enjoying the work. It’s been QUITE the learning opportunity! ....and it’s DANG fun! 😀